Friday, July 23, 2010

Kurichi, Karuppan and Pullai

In an exclusive interview to VTTV, India's External Affairs Minister Mr SM Karuppan (name changed to protect identity) spoke about the recent Kurichi-Pullai episode to our chief correspondent Ms. P. Butt.

Excerpts from the interview:

VTTV: Good evening Mr Karuppan. The last few days must have been really tough on you?

SMK: Good evening Ms PainInTha Butt. And what tough? All channels showing me only. Yaeeee! Finally I overtook my பேத்தி Ramya in the popular-most-in-the-family polls.

VTTV: He he. That's a very positive way of looking at this Mr Karuppan, and we are indeed glad that you are able to do this to keep your spirits up. Anyway, as the talks started, it became quite clear that they will go on for longer than planned. Tell us - why did the discussions go for so long?

SMK: When you keep talking in an atmosphere of friendship, in an atmosphere of trust, then there is naturally a tendency to prolong the discussions.

VTTV: I repeat - tell us - why did the discussions go for so long?

SMK: I thought I just answered that.

VTTV: Well then, think again.

SMK: விட மாட்டே போலிருக்கு? Ok I will say the truth. Everytime they said something, I had to call up MumMohan. Who had to call up Sonyeah. Who had to call up Congress Customer Care comprising Karmanidhi and a host of (பெருச்) allies. Plus if am right, Ampani was also involved in the loop somewhere. It is not an easy task for so many people to reach a concensus and send across a decision. Often by the time they could do that, the Pakis had done 2-3 namaas.

VTTV: But it wasn't unpleasant during the talks?

SMK: Not at all, not at all!

VTTV: Looks like your problems started right there - maybe you weren't really paying attention to the discussions. முன்னூறு camera and mic இருக்கும் போதே அந்த ஆளு அப்டி பேசினான். யாரும் இல்லாதப்போ bad words-லயே திட்டிருப்பான்.

SMK: As long as talks went on, it went off very well without any rancour and again in the press conference there was no rancour exhibited.

VTTV: No rancour exhibited aa? எங்கள எல்லாம் என்ன சொம்பை னு நெனச்சுட்டியா? யோவ்! அந்த ஆளு நாக்குல நரம்பில்லாம பேசிருக்கான்.. நீயும் முதுகுல எலும்பில்லாம கேட்டுட்டு வந்துருக்கே.. கேட்டா, ஒண்ணும் நடக்காத மாதிரி நடிக்குறே?

SMK: Let me clarify. The point that Mr Kurichi was trying to make - to draw a comparison between Hafiz Saeed and Home Secretary Mr Pullai - I think, that was the most ridiculous statement that one could hear of.

VTTV: இங்க வந்து நொட்டு.. Press conference- அந்த ஆளு பேசும் போது அசமஞ்சம் மாதிரி உக்காந்து கேட்டுட்டு இருந்தே?

SMK: மாமா நா ஒண்ணு சொல்லட்டுமா? கேள்வி கேக்குறது எவ்ளோ easy தெரியுமா? பதில் சொல்லி பாத்தா தானே அந்த கஷ்டம் தெரியும்.

VTTV: Now you are becoming more frank. We like it. Do you believe that you went in to the talks handicapped, with your hands tied behind your back, because the Home Secretary had made the Headley interrogation report public the very morning that you were leaving for Islamabad?

SMK: அம்மா சத்தியமா that is the reason why I didn't support him! Didn't want to tell, but you pulled the words out of my mouthu. அவன் அவன் பயத்தோட அண்டை நாட்டுக்கு போகும் போது, அத support பண்றது தானே ஒரு Home Secretary-கு அழகு? அத விட்டுட்டு இப்டி கலவரம் தூண்டுற மாதிரி comment அடிச்சு, ஏற்கனவே கொழம்பி இருக்குற relationship- குச்சிய விட்டு ஆட்டுனா, நாங்கல்லாம் நாக்கு வழிக்குறதா? அங்க போயிட்டு உயிரோட திரும்பி வர வேணா? Raascolu.

VTTV: So you did not find Kurichi's comments offensive?

SMK: Offensive aa? If Kurichi hadn't said that, I would have done so myself. In fact, when Kurichi made that statement, I was mentally rehearsing the exact words to use. That is why when Kurichi made that comment...

VTTV: did not respond?

SMK: ...I did not clap, whistle and prance around.

VTTV: Err... Ok. Anyway, at this stage, I need to ask you a question that might get a bit personal. Hope you wouldn't mind. There is some speculation going on in politically-informed circles that you and Mr Kurichi are brothers. Half-brothers possibly.. And..

SMK: What! This is ridiculous! It can't be so. What proof do you have?

VTTV: What're your initials?


VTTV: Kurichi's?

SMK: ஆஹா அப்டி போகுதா matteru?

VTTV: Matteru அப்டி போயிருச்சோ னு தான் எங்களுக்கு லாம் சந்தேகம். குறிப்பா சுப்ரமணிய சுவாமிக்கு ரொம்ப சந்தேகம். He contends that this is the sentimental reason why you have asked for and got the External Affairs portfolio.

SMK: ஆகா Room போட்டு யோசிப்பாங்களோ?

VTTV: These kinds of comments are not helping your case.

SMK: Right விடு. Even if what you are saying is true, I am the legal heir.

VTTV: That also has been reported by Mr Swamy. He alleges that கள்ளகுறிச்சி is actually named after your கள்ள-brother Kurichi.

SMK: இது ஆவுறதுக்கில்ல. Escaaaapeeeee.


Vijiram said...

Hilarious is the only word I have da! Seriously.. u can give a hand at harish's script provided he wants to add the Vadivel/Vivek flavour to it..

Venkata Ramanan S said...


Kurichi & Butt??
Misread d 1st time... :)

Atlast 'Mr'.Butt:

Unga 'Idhukku' ...."Kuthu" Ramyavoda 'adhuve' mael...:)

Alpine Path said...

கள்ளகுறிச்சி is actually named after your கள்ள-brother Kurichi.

Yabba! Mudiyaladaa saami! :D

King Vishy said...

Thanks da :) Director saar kitta kaettu paakuren..

palaana palaana matter solre nu puriyudhu.. aana enna nu than puriyala!

@alpine path..
enna irundhaalum nee (subramaniya) saamy-ya ipdi 'da' poattu koopda koodadhu! vayasukku mariyadhai kudu ma :)

Kavity said...

:D Hilarious!

Venkysdiary said...

Hey .. very funny.. truly enjoyed ..particularly
"Who had to call up Congress Customer Care comprising Karmanidhi and a host of (பெருச்) allies."

R Srikkant said...

Funny and Critical :) mast....

Divya Bala said...

The tempo was building up and when I came to this,

>>மாமா நா ஒண்ணு சொல்லட்டுமா? கேள்வி கேக்குறது எவ்ளோ easy தெரியுமா? பதில் சொல்லி பாத்தா தானே அந்த கஷ்டம் தெரியும்.

I had to LOL! Keep writing, keep writing...

King Vishy said...

@kavity and venkat.. thanks guys :)

@srikkant.. thanks da :) and adhukulle hindi paesa aarambichute!

@divya bala.. he he thank you! :) will sure heed your advice.. and make sure you do to mine as well!

BeeJay said...

Chancey illa machi ! Probably one of ur best posts ever !! I read the actual conversation and then ur post ! Hilarious !!

தக்குடு said...

nanna irnthathu vishwa!..:) nalla sirichen.

(Ahmm,apdiyee 'kutthu' ramyavooda photo onnu pooturukkalamm, postukkum related irukkumey athukkuthaan sonnen..:)

King Vishy said...

@neo.. the one..
Thanks nanbaa :) naa nenacha alavukku post-ku response illa.. adhanala konjam dull-o nu nenachen.. thnks for ur comment :)

Idhu enakku thonaama poche!!!!!!

Venkysdiary said...

enna aachu.. puthusa onnum ezhuthalai! vela jaasthiya?

King Vishy said...

Ya Venkat.. Sila pala vaelaigal la busy aayiten.. Itching to post something.. hoping to do sometime soon!